Not To Be Confused With Gregor Samsa

Unlike the main character of Franz Kafka's novella The Metamorphosis who becomes a giant insect with no why or how, Regina Bloomsbury in Greg Taylor's novel The Girl Who Became A Beatle (ISBN 9780312652593) is part of a rapidly-declining high school band who makes a wish that her band The Caverns would become as famous as The Beatles. And her “fairy godmother” grants her wish, only now The Caverns is the most famous band in rock history, and nobody's ever heard of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. (By the way, we had Paul play a concert in Fargo this past Saturday …) It's Regina, Julian, Lorna, and Danny in an alternate world's present day with all the acclaim, accolades, and infighting because Regina is constantly getting top billing! Told by Regina herself, this is the first story in a while I can say I had FUN reading – not that I'm a big rock (or boulder) fan, but this is one of those wish-fulfillment stories with some cool twists! So are DQ Blizzards … crap, now I'm hungry.

I got home last time and Martha had field tested our anniversary gift from her parents, a cooking plate that radiates heat so you don't need to spend hours thawing meat on the stove. It actually did very well thawing the ground beef we used to make burritos, some of the best I've had in a while! (Though I'M the only one who likes salsa and the one who dislikes black olives on mine.) On that summer reading program the kids started, Sarah already had read six books and Jeffrey's well on his way! Anyway, Jeffrey and I settled in to play a game of Farkle on our kitchen's wood floor – and he won – while Martha and Sarah cuddled on the couch and played their music. It was a quiet night, and at four this morning my wife and son and daughter awoke to deliver today's Minot Daily News. (It's my turn tomorrow, so please don't chew me out about it. The route's in my name, but it really helps when the whole family chips in, and it was their suggestion!)

This morning it was Jeffrey's turn after everybody had gotten ready to pick where we would go and he chose McDonald's … and since it was payday for me, I splurged on some drinks for us which the kids sipped in between sessions on the Broadway McDonald's new Playplace (named OBSTACLE now). Got the kids to Grandma's where Margaret – Martha's second oldest sister, for those who haven't kept up – also was, and after I used the bathroom it was time for me to go! Sarah came out and raced me to the corner of the street again, and won as I was finishing a text message. Martha and I have two fast kids who need a nap today as they have been up since four am! PLEASE tell me when I get home tonight that they took one! I slept in (for me, seven-thirty is sleeping in) and I think I have figured out the optimum time to take a nap between coming off the paper route and taking the kids out. But I will share that tomorrow as I'm approaching a three-hour limit.

Now don't turn into a bug on me, David