Ensign: My Dad In Me

All ye inhabitants of the world, and dwellers on the earth, see ye, when he lifteth up an ensign on the mountains; and when he bloweth a trumpet, hear ye. Isaiah 18:3

AN ENSIGN ON THE MOUNTAINS 13 October 2011

[YES, I know it's really December 11, 2014! And my birthday, incidentally. I was looking for an Ensign I'd posted for my birthday some years ago seeking to compare me then to me now, but there's always next year -- translated: I couldn't find it! But I came across this one in my online archives that I'd posted on the fifth anniversary of my father Robert's death. And yes, this one made me do some thinking too. So for my forty-third birthday, let's take a look back with me. -- David]

I find myself thinking this week of the opening line from A Tale of Two Cities. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." This week on the calendar happens for me to have two birthdays (my sister Margaret's Monday and her daughter my niece Breanna's today) and one deathday -- well, we all know what a birthday is, the anniversary of the day someone is born. But someone's deathday is more often than not much easier to pinpoint because we tend to remember where we were when we heard the news (e.g. "Where were you when you heard about the planes flying into the Twin Towers?"); in my case, I was watching TV while Martha worked at Kmart and Sarah was asleep in her crib at our apartment in southeast Minot when I got a call from Florida. It was my stepmother Susan telling me my dad -- her husband -- has just died. Today, five years ago.

I. Miss. My. Dad. So. Much.

I know as a Christian I'm not supposed to believe in reincarnation (and I don't anyway, for to me that accuses God of a lack of imagination; besides, aren't you not supposed to remember you were someone else?), but there are moments looking at my four-year-old son Jeffrey and his mannerisms that I can't help but see not just me in him -- and actually right now that's getting to be less and less -- but my dad in him.

I recall a line from the poet Wordsworth, "The child is father to the man" and wonder sometimes whether now it's MY job to raise him. Sometimes I can imagine that I am being like my dad who'd be eighty-five today in regard to what I do or see something my dad would do in my son or me -- especially when I don't expect to. But Jeffrey is not going to become my dad, I am not going to become my dad; nobody is. And that's for the best, that we can be like someone else (or not) but we can't BE someone else.

"And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:" Hebrews 9:27 begins to tell us what is evident to any one of us with a working brain -- if you have been born, you're going to die. But just as we're going to die, continues verse twenty-eight: "So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation."

So Jesus came to Earth and died too, to do the one thing He could not do in heaven. Die. But it's death with a purpose none of us can fulfill; "to bear the sins of many" it makes sense to be without sin -- without separation from full fellowship with God our Father -- doesn't it? And none of us are like that, without some part of ourselves that isn't fully in tune with God's will and way for our lives. We need someone sinless to stand in for us, someone we can "look" -- in modern words, eagerly wait -- for to take the penalty of sin for us.

"For the wages of [that is, what you're paid or given in return for] sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23 tells us and the Bible is replete with examples you and I can relate to of our all-too-human need for a Redeemer, someone to take the consequences for us that we can't bear. Even if we see God as separate and unconcerned for us now we can only imagine a shadow of what hell is like, where separation from God is forever. No, not forever. ETERNAL.

I say "we" because sometimes I have doubts, sometimes I have fears that I'm not only not living up to God's plan for my life -- the part of it I can see, anyway -- but that I'm also not living up to the best I know I can do. "Faith Of My Fathers" is a great hymn, but it's misleading because I can't live by my father's faith in God and trust in Jesus for his eternal salvation. Jeffrey can't live by mine (nor can Sarah, but I'm tracing the male line today), it has to be his own choice. My own choice. Everyone's own choice to, in the words of another hymn, "trust in Jesus, and to take Him at His Word" that He is the sacrifice for our sin, the cost for restoring us to fellowship with God our Father, forever. We need to accept that sacrifice, right now.


Amen,


David


P.S. I write this weekly devotional to keep in touch with all of you in my address book, and I hope to be an encourager to action too! If you find that I'm not or you want me to get lost, just let me know -- thank you!


Thank You, Lord, that we can come to you in prayer and that You provide for all our needs, even when we don't know what they are. We pray for the peace of Jerusalem on both sides of the fence there and around the world.


Thank You, Lord, for everyone in leadership and service, both here and abroad. Thank You for the opportunities we have and the promise of new life through You. I pray that we all seek and have a blessed week! Amen.